Falling apart. There are times when you have no idea of what is going on around you, but it just seems like something is off. You have no clue but you have no guts to ask too. And you end up tired. Again.
I heard of this one thing. The higher your belief, the higher you put your trust in Him, then you should be prepared for His trials. It would not be a nice rainbow day all along, there might be rain and storms too, but above all, He will always be there. Sometimes, I have the thought of am I even there yet? Is this some kind of punishment or just a trial? What I did so wrong nor even when did I go wrong?
I am barely hanging here. I often tell myself, it's you and will only be about you. Never point out at others. What you did is what you get back. Though at times, things may feel super uncomfortable. At times it even hard to breathe, you feel suffocated. Sometimes things are just so complicated, that you end up just sitting there and watch. Because you believe that is all that you can do. Things are just messed up enough and you don't feel like make it even worse.
But hey, here's one for you.
You are all that you give yourself.
The harder things get, the harder you need to reflect on yourself.
Seek and tell Him. Every single thing.
He is all that you got.
You may not understand why certain things happen,
Keep going and doing your best.
He is the All-seeing.
Though there are days that you tremble,
I hope you never forget, that you matter too.